HEAD LIVING:

I have lived so long drawn up inside my head that I no longer feel hunger or thirst or pain. It is no wonder that neuropathies run rampant throughout my body. No wonder my muscles are wasting and my skin is netted with wrinkles. No wonder I have angina and heart muscle damage.

I have no sense of connection to my body. I regard it as a machine, given to me to do my bidding. I have treated it this way my whole life.

I am a physical person. I define myself by my ability to get things done with the strength of my body. I feel safe because I can handle what life throws at me physically. I am proud of my physical strength and endurance.

But now I have come to the end of my physical resources. Therefore, it makes sense that medical conditions beyond my control which threaten my ability to deal with life physically, will upset my balance.

Somehow, I must find an interface, a marriage if you will, between my mind and my body by which through communication between them, I may become whole.